Wednesday, March 5, 2014

2 years 10 months.











Dear Scarlett,


You have begun a new phase in life. You are transitioning from toddler to little girl. As you approach three, I am finding it harder and harder to be patient with you. You seem to know just what to do to push my buttons and how to bring me to my breaking point.  I guess this is what they call the "terrible twos".  My mother has been waiting for this day since I was little. The day that I would get a dose of my own medicine as I too, was a strong-willed, independent girl who wouldn't give up. With a stubborn mind and a tough outer-shell, you are the spitting image of me. But I remember what it felt like.

And I don't think you are terrible-two.

You are growing. You are learning that life isn't always fair. You are testing boundaries. Learning new things from other children. Realizing that you have choices and options. Becoming aware that being human is not always fun.

There are good days too. Days that you make me laugh and smile. The way that you say, "...and Mickey in the morning light" while saying bedtime prayers makes me smile every time.
The way you pretend to be the teacher and shout to your dolls, "Sit down now, I'm not going to tell you again."Your sweetness shines through even in your naughty moments. You reach your arms for me and ask for a big hug. You love to say, "I love you Pet Pet Pooch." at bedtime so that I will have the stuffed doggy give you kisses.


I am sad to see you leave the baby days behind. I have loved every stage. I will be honest, this new stage has been the hardest yet. I know that there will be harder ones to come.  I see that look in your eyes and I realize….you are just like me. This scares me. Why? I took the hard path. I fell off the path and sprinted towards the dark. I just wanted someone to understand me, someone to care. At a time when I needed someone the most, no one was there. I saw some pretty dark and lonely days. I never want that for you…ever.

 I envision you in 15 years. I'm sure that you will be head-strong and independent just like I was. But I hope that you are wiser than I was. I hope that you can see past the present. My dear Scarlett, no matter what is happening in life, or how hard times may be in the future, I promise you one thing. I will always be there. I won't leave you. Someday, you might be a mother and you will understand what it is like to have something you love so deeply walking around this world  so vulnerable and fragile. It's terrifying. I would do anything to protect you. You will always be my little girl. My Scarlett.


I love you.


Love, Mama.



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